We’re sure everyone would like to think that the tech behemoths of the world keep pouring their time and money into research and development because they wish to make the world a better place. The truth is, we’re all just cogs in their humongous advertising and sales machinery, and they need more vectors to assault us with advertising horrors. To quote one of our leading authorities on everything, The Tick, the next time you buy a new device, brace yourself while Corporate America tries to sell us its wretched things. Google Glasses? A new way to get ad impressions, my friends. The supposed Apple wristwatch we’re all hearing about suddenly? More App Store sales, baby!
Apple Wristwatch Rumors Abound, World Rejoices
You might imagine that wizened, cynical folk like us are now going to make fun of Apple finally improving the Apple wristwatch, something that’s long been a priority for exactly nobody. Ah, but we have you fooled. A smart watch is actually something we think would be kind of useful, and Apple makes wonderful things. So we’re kind of excited with the Apple Wristwatch.
The Apple wristwatch is just rumor, of course. The fine folks at Corning and their super-secret-everybody-knows deal with Apple supposedly has this bendable glass called Willow Glass that can bend without breaking, which means of course it can be wrapped lovingly around your wrist in order to do all the things your smartphone currently does while leaving your hands free.
The latest rumors say Apple has a team of 100 people assigned to the project. The reports are coming from Bloomberg, which is usually pretty reliable, and the specificity of the reports lends them some weight, we think.
Apple Makes Wristwatch, Singularity Follows
One phrase that keeps appearing in these rumors has us a little concerned – the Apple wristwatch supposedly will “share functions of iOS devices.” You can interpret that line different ways, one being that the Apple wristwatch won’t be a standalone device capable of at least the basics – making calls, maps and GPS, playing music, NFC functions like purchases etc. Hands free all the time! That would be awesome, at least to some folks.
But that might mean fewer sales all around for Apple. Instead, why not make the Apple wristwatch a dumber thing and sell both a phone and a watch! Obviously we don’t know for sure that this is how it will be, but frankly it sounds an awful lot like Apple’s general attitude towards its customers, with an emphasis on awful.
And let’s not forget Apple’s secret weapon here – Siri. Sure, Google is poised to make Siri look like an old maid with their far superior Google Now service, which integrates into your world in ways Siri simply cannot do, but Siri is another fine example of what Apple does really, really well – marketing. When folks think of digital personal assistants, they think of Siri. And to be fair, Siri is incredibly useful and we’re sure Siri 2.0 is coming soon as well.
Now imagine you had Siri on your wrist all the time. Anywhere you are, just raise your wrist to your mouth, ask a question, and get an answer. That’s a Killer App, friends.
Apple Wristwatch Release Date and Pricing
When the iWatch releases is anyone’s guess. Apple has a habit of breaking expectations when it comes to pricing and availability. After all, it did release a beefed-up iPad 4 a mere 7 months after the iPad 3 was released. Are you looking forward to Apple’s Wristwatch?